Could you keep your mind a little open to what I have to say about self-curiosity and self-actualization being the highest moral goals achievable?

Moral in the sense that the honest pursuit and actualization of one’s true self leads to personal AND world happiness. Love is at the core of my philosophy. Everybody wants it and everybody needs it. (For anyone to deny this seems ludicrous.) But before you can love another person, you must first love yourself. And in order to love yourself, you must know yourself, which means investigate, analyze and actualize who you are. It’s a full circle:

1. To love another, you must first love yourself.

2. To love yourself, you must know yourself.

3. To know yourself, you must be self-curious – investigate and manifest who you really are. Part of this involves simply spending time alone and doing things you enjoy for no other reason but that you enjoy them.

4. To investigate and manifest who you really are, you must first discern the difference between the ideas and attitudes you’ve adopted from other people and those that are truly your own. Then you must foster awareness of falling into old conditioning or behavior habits that reflect these other people’s or societal ideas. Once you become aware, you can begin to change your actions and attitudes to reflect what’s really important to you.

5. To discern attitudes that are a result of conditioning and don’t reflect your honest priorities, you must learn to say no to people. These are people who would, intentionally or no, enforce that conditioning. You might need to spend time completely removed from your friends, family, and romantic partner, in order to be surrounded solely by your own energy. Their energy, influence, and any conditioning will wear off the longer you stay away. Regular breaks are usually beneficial to any partnership as these allow us to remember who we are on our own, outside of the relationship. And this balance between two different individuals is what makes any relationship fulfilling and successful. It’s when two people forget their individuality and compromise it for the “benefit” of the relationship that people ache to get away – back to themselves. If this isn’t recognized and addressed, heartache typically ensues in the form of affairs, distance, or some other type of “separate life” from the partner.

In the beginning, as you take more time for yourself and pursue your own interests, you might make mistakes and perhaps emulate the more negative characteristics of the term ”selfish,” or be accused of doing so. Mistakes are tolerable. Getting back to yourself is of the utmost importance to true fulfillment and relationship satisfaction.

6. Only through experiencing what hurts and what works can you understand your honest motivations and priorities. Sometimes when we find ourselves saddled with a way of life that is simply unsatisfying, it can be hard to know how to change. Just try new things – or things you remembered enjoying when you were younger. At this stage taking small risks is fine, but until you know yourself better, it may not be best to take bigger risks you might regret.

7. Self-honesty is essential as emotions are key indicators of what is working (is true for you) and what is not (is somebody else’s idea of what works). Emotional intelligence comes easier to some people than others, but can be improved upon by all of us.

8. Compassion and faith in the “everyone deserves love” attitude must be on board if you’re to love what you see when you uncover your true self. People often live in denial because they don’t want to face their own demons. And guess what, we all have them. Demons are ok. Part of the reason why we’re here is to deal with them. Oddly, loving ourselves in spite of the darkness and having compassion no matter how “ill” our deeds have been is the only way to really let the evil inside us go. Evil basically comes down to one simple thing – fear. Once fear is gone, only love remains.

9. As you distill down the layers of what you are – which intimately involves your motivations – you’ll find that love is at the center of it all. Everything you’ve ever done, somewhere was motivated by love. It could’ve been a reaction to not getting love, or a way to feel loved yourself. Even some of the most heinous acts are done to distract people and fuel their denial of the very real and universal need for love.

10. When you can see that even your ugliest traits are motivated by love – a desire to love and be loved and the anger at not getting it or fear of rejection – you can forgive yourself your ugliness and give yourself the love you so richly deserve. (It takes extreme courage, practice and patience to look full on at and accept your worst traits – which is required to see what is underneath them.)

11. Once you learn to put this loving relationship with yourself above all else, you can be the ultimate and most honest expression of who you are. Being who we are, perfectly, is the most anyone can aspire to be.

12. This expression of yourself greatly benefits the collective – we all have gifts and talents to share – and feeds your soul as well, thereby allowing you to feed the souls of others.

13. Last, through the recognition of and compassion for your own worst faults, you can better recognize and have compassion for the faults of others. You’ll recognize their burning desire for love and perhaps their lack of self-awareness – both of which may create or fuel their faults and bad attitudes. In this way, you can also love even the “worst” of the people around you. Even your enemies. “Loving your enemies” can seem like a very selfless ideal to aspire to. Whereas in truth, to be able to love your enemies, you must hold self-love as the highest commandment.

Apathy.  I can wallow in it.  Like a pig to mud, or a duck to water, Apathy calls to me and says, “Oh there you are!”  We’ll spend days together in bed, like long-lost lovers. That’s usually how Apathy visits me – we make tired love for a time, and then Apathy leaves and I return to Productivity.  Sometimes Self-esteem even flirts with me.

It’s not so much that I’m crazy about Apathy.  It’s that Apathy offers a refuge when the rest of the world is out to get me.  Apathy provides a shield through which I can say: I don’t care what you take from me, World, you can’t take my Apathy!

But sometimes, Joy calls me.  And let me tell you, Joy knows how to beckon!  All those sweet promises and that infectious warmth…  Apathy doesn’t much like Joy.  He knows the routine. Joy takes me away. We have a raucous affair. Then Fear, marauding as Joy, steals the show.  I’ll be with Joy, blink my eyes and seconds later, find Fear in Joy’s place.  But I’m never sure, because Fear looks A LOT like Joy. One thing I’ve discovered is that Fear is a master of disguise. Fear convinces me not to look for the real Joy; he lays on guilt, threats, and ultimatums to keep me from leaving. I usually stay with Fear a while. Then ultimately, and after much heartache, I realize I’ve been duped and should have followed Joy long ago.

But Apathy’s used to it. In spite of my philandering, he welcomes me – though not without a little taunting.  See, he appreciates Irony. They like to hang out.  And I think the next best thing to finding Joy is coming home to see my Apathy smile.

We gauge what to expect from the people we know and so build trust based on those expectations.  We do this by direct communication, social and cultural mores, etc.  When expectations aren’t met and trust is broken, we usually feel disappointed, betrayed or deceived.  I think of it like being slapped in the face – unexpected and painful.  In order to protect ourselves from this kind of “attack” again, we tend to use anger or possibly disappointment as a shield and reminder.  Problem is, it can be a heavy shield to bear and we may continue to bear it long after its outlived its usefulness.  Anger can eat at other areas of our life, and disappointment can make us hopeless.  There’s a balance to be struck – enough of a focus on the hurt to protect ourselves going forward, but not so large a focus that the rest of our life dims in anticipation of a future “attack.”  Fear is a potent medicine that can and does keep us safe, but like many medicines, too much is definitely a bad thing.  It may surprise you, but the key to forgiving, or letting go of the shield, is a transfer of power.  Reclaim your power.  Take it back from the one you need to forgive and then you don’t need the shield.  You aren’t vulnerable to one who’s powerless over you.

So what exactly is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is an empowering.  It’s saying: I’m not going to hold onto this anger (sadness, rage) anymore.  I’m not going to blame you for how I feel now.  And I’m no longer going to be a victim of “what you did to me.”  It helps a lot, if you have compassion not only for yourself, but also for the person you’re forgiving.  Compassion evokes an understanding of the human condition.  Whereas, pity is fear based and tends to be judgmental.  How often it is that the abuser was once the abused, or that the manipulator feels totally out of control?  As I said earlier, forgiveness is an acknowledgement of self-love and self-care.  Forgiveness can even stop the pain circles that have been passed on for generations.  You are only a victim if you can’t take care of yourself.  But, if you can make the decision to stay, to leave, to come and go, without threat to your health or well-being, you are not a victim anymore.

When something breaks down within a primary relationship (can be a relationship with ourselves), we may feel that life is falling apart.  And to handle the overwhelming emotions that result, we might “shut down” on some level.  The point is to be numb to our feelings, especially around the situation that needs to be addressed.  Which, it goes without saying, makes it difficult to be aware of those feelings and our needs.  Alternately, we may tell ourselves that things are the way we want them to be, or the way they used to be, instead of how they really are.  Both coping mechanisms help cushion us from the immediate blow and give time to more gently adjust to new circumstances.  They’re not necessarily bad. They’re just short-term fixes –  only.  If used long term, they can fasten us in delusion, deception, depression and a slow death for the relationship.  Relationships ARE complicated. They’re an organic creation between two, likely, complex individuals.  The best you can do is gauge for yourself whether and how the relationship benefits you.  With forgiveness, you can do this.  You can let go of destructive emotions, self-deception and honestly get on with your life.

Sometimes we stifle forgiveness because we hang on to the way we think things “should’ve” been or are “supposed” to be.  A relationship is like being on a path.  If you come to a boulder that blocks your way, you need to make a decision.  You may decide to work your way over the boulder, or to try to move it, or to abandon the path and forge or find a new one.  But yelling at the boulder, because it “shouldn’t” be blocking you, or pretending it’s not there, is only going to waste your energy and keep you from moving forward.  When your emotions have become dead weight, and all efforts to move or ignore said boulder have proved futile, it’s time to change tactics or move on.

Consider the following four elements to help you shake off stagnation, let forgiveness flow and your soul shine.

Element 1: Establish clear boundaries with the person you want to forgive.

First off, you need to come from a safe place. You’ve been wounded.  The worst thing you can do is put yourself in danger of being wounded again.  You lost trust and the nature of your relationship has changed.  Pretending it’s otherwise will only make you paranoid, resentful, afraid and/or numb.  It’s easier to establish clear boundaries with someone you’ve put out of your life, but just as essential with someone you want to keep in it.  Chances are that both of you are wounded and need time alone to heal.  You need your own space to release negative emotions in a healthy way, to take personal responsibility for those emotions and to get in touch with your needs – not your partner’s needs, your children’s or the relationship’s.  Further, if you’re constantly surrounded by the person you want to forgive, they’ll be the outlet your ugly emotions seek.  Don’t keep anger with you as a form of protection.  Protect yourself by setting other boundaries.  Allow trust to reconstruct slowly and wean yourself back in gently, if that’s what you still want to do.  This may, for example, involve a period of being “just friends” with a lover or spouse (and that doesn’t mean you have to move out.)  Remember, your relationship is whatever you and your partner want it to be.  Don’t let social ideals confuse you into giving up something you value or keeping something that doesn’t serve you.   You’re allowed to tell  your kids you have problems too – chances are they already know and will be relieved to hear you being honest about it.  Not that they need details.  But seeing you constructively work things out (or not) will be valuable life lessons for them as well.

Element 2:  Be honest!

In your own safe space, you can be nakedly open about how you really feel and what you really need.  Honesty, or its lack, was what created the problem in the first place.  Somewhere, someone was dishonest with the other, and likely with themselves.  Trust was broken.  Since you can’t control another person, you can’t know if they’re telling the truth.  All you can do is tell the truth yourself.  This means you need to be aware of how you want to be feeling and not let it muddle your perception of how you’re really feeling.  Why does what this person did in the past, still hurt you now?  Or are they still doing it?  Look at what you’re upset about – really look at it, deeper than you ever have before.  Your emotions gauge your spiritual health.  They tell you what you need to do.  In order to properly understand them, though, you need to admit the truth to yourself, especially when it’s hard.  If you’re staying in a difficult relationship, acknowledge why and take responsibility for that choice.  Be honest.  Don’t substitute some sugar-coated sounds-good reason for the truth.  If you’re not proud of or don’t like the real reason, accept it anyway.  KNOW what you’re doing and WHY you’re doing it. Do treat others with the same respect you want for yourself.  Betrayal begets betrayal.  Love yourself enough to offer honesty to the world and let the cycle of betrayal stop with you.   Remember,  you don’t need to lie or make excuses about who you are, or what you need.

If you foster awareness within, it’ll spread like wildfire.  Once you’re an excellent observer of yourself, you’ll be a better observer of everyone else too.  Are they lying about something to themselves, or to you?   Do their words not match their actions?  We needn’t condemn people because they lie.   But if it comes down to trusting your sense of things, or their words, you’ve got to go with your gut, or live to regret it.

Element 3:  Empower yourself to take care of you.

Now that you’re being honest and are aware of your needs, you can properly take care of yourself.  What this means is taking personal responsibility for fulfilling those needs.  Exercise your awareness and look again at what you’re upset about.  Why are you upset?  Do you feel bad about yourself because of what someone else did?  Are you mad because they screwed up your life?  What’s screwed up about your life, or is that just you yelling at the boulder?   And who gave them the power to screw up your life anyway?  We don’t like to give up dreams, or change them, and being mad about it is a sign that we’re trying to hold onto a dream that is no more.  This goes back to taking space.  Give yourself time to grieve for what’s lost.  You need it.  Then acquaint yourself to your new surroundings and the possibilities that lie within.  Realize that you are responsible for you – first and foremost.  How someone else behaves does NOT reflect on who you are.  Someone else is not responsible for nourishing your soul, for giving you love or telling you you’re good enough.  That’s your job.  If you’ve been neglecting that job by passing it off, get on it.  This could be the root of your disappointment and victim feelings, and the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to take charge.  Your time is NOW.  Empower yourself to take care of you.  This may involve changing routine and speaking out.   I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but consider the alternative – staring at, or if you’re like me, beating on the boulder.  Once you let go of being a victim, anger will fade and forgiveness will flow.  And by loving yourself before anyone else, you’ll be better able to love those around you as well.

Element 4: Compassion

Like virtually everything else, compassion starts with you.  If you’re inclined to be hard on yourself, give it a break.  You’re good enough right now.  Really.  You better believe it, or the compassion and forgiveness you want to lend others is NOT going to come.  There will always be more things to improve, bigger goals to attain.  Ever notice that the satisfaction from one promotion or accomplishment only lasts until the next one is in sight?  If this is you, you’re pushing yourself too hard.  Take care of yourself like you would a small child.  A child is still learning and doesn’t know what the world’s about yet.  If you berate the child for ‘doing something wrong,’ you teach that child to live in fear.  Fear becomes the master and the one who sets the rules which means that internal truth and awareness are hushed.    A child doesn’t deserve that.  And neither do you.  You too are still learning about the world, so give yourself a break and don’t assume you know it all.  If you harbor self-hatred or lack acceptance for things you’ve done, take this opportunity to forgive yourself as well.

When you take responsibility for yourself and anger fades, you’ll see the one who you’re forgiving in a new light.  Instead of hating or fearing them (same thing, really), you may see them as smaller, sadder, maybe needing a hug.  You may see or know that some desperation brought them to behave in the ways that you needed to forgive.  You might even see that they need to forgive someone else and themselves in order to stop hurting the ones they love.

“And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.”

Once you love yourself, and from that place of love, take responsibility for yourself, the anger you feel toward another – from whom you have sufficient space  –  can fade.  All these pieces need to be in place to let go of the hurt that’s weighing you down:

1. Space/boundaries
2. Honesty with yourself
3. Responsibility for yourself
4. Compassion/Love for yourself

The beauty is that all this starts with you.  Meaning that as long as you truly are free to stay or go, then you are completely capable of forgiving another.  Just be prepared to love yourself as much as you’ve always dreamed someone else would.  And remember, these four elements are not necessarily encouraged in our society. So getting in the habit of practicing them may take time.  Be patient.  Understanding and awareness are the first steps.  With repetition and a staunch loyalty to YOU, the elements will become routine and your life, inspired and whole.

The path to awareness takes courage.  Systems of deception have been perfected over years, decades and centuries.  You won’t be the first who thought to leave them behind and be your own authority.  And if you turn back, you won’t be the last either.  There’s danger, fear, risk – you will make mistakes, you may even be ostracized to some degree.  You will gain the admiration of some and the jealousy of others, for striking out off the path of obedience and ignorance and toward the path of awareness and authenticity.  And there’s a new community waiting for you there.

You’ll no longer need to please anyone else to be worth something or to have done a good job.  In fact, trying to please anyone else instead of yourself is the ONLY way you can fail.

Hate, anger, fear, guilt, self-doubt, deception: these emotions will trick you. They’ll try to convince you that to succeed on your own terms is really to fail and that to fail yourself is to succeed.  Fostering regular awareness of your emotions and motivations will help you recognize these evils until it becomes as natural as breathing.  Who’s calling the shots? Is it your ambitions and confidence, or your fear and insecurities?  This, by the way, is not about throwing caution to the wind.  It’s about employing caution from a position of strength (and not, from a position of weakness, grasping at perceived bones that someone else has thrown you).

Once you plant the seed of awareness and tend to it daily, it will grow and spread like a weed.  But this weed is special and will fertilize your garden and empower you to grow anything you want.  With awareness, you’ll know exactly what you want and not be confused by what you’re “supposed” to want. You’ll start to see that words like “supposed to” and “should” are words of oppression. When you trade a piece of your heart for what someone else says is right is when you lose power and the ability to be happy and fulfilled.

God’s beauty is infinite.  The expression of God’s beauty is infinite and planted in us. To stifle the expression of our unique talents and skills is to stifle the beauty and expression of God.  And to stifle God’s beauty and expression is sin.

Perhaps you, nor I, are God. But you and I together, honestly expressing the beauty within us, are one step closer to God than either of us alone. So too, are three or four, or more of us, expressing and living our highest potential, that much closer to God.  We CAN create heaven on earth.

It’s easy to find, follow and express your gifts.  Go to and develop that which makes you happy.  The kind of happy that stays with you, nurtures you, and satisfies.  The kind of happy by which you sleep well at night and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning.  It could be writing, sewing, speaking, fostering animals, coaching, etc.  There is no price tag big enough to accommodate the number that your destiny is worth.

The devil may come about in forms of greed, fear, social mores, expectations, procrastination, or guilt.  The devil really comes down to one thing, which is Fear.  Don’t be frightened by the devil.  Look at it, understand the source of your fear and protect yourself with Love.  Then fear will lose its power over you.

You may not follow your heart because people you love and respect tell you not to.  They want to help.  But only you are in touch with the beauty God has instilled within you.  Only you know exactly how to express it.  Finding and fulfilling our destiny is, for many of us, the hardest thing we’ll ever do. It may require saying No to everyone and everything that tells us how to be and saying Yes to ourselves.  Like children, we’ll try and fail. But there is rarely any success without “failure” first. And like children, we need love, patience and gentleness to succeed.

The first step is Awareness.  And sometimes it’s the only step.  Awareness of what in your life now makes you happy, and what doesn’t.  Often times we’ll get what we think we want, only to find out that we really didn’t want it, and perhaps we gave up something truly valuable in order to have it.  Frequently this happens when we “fall”  for another person’s, or social, ideas of what is good for us.  Go within and find what’s true for you.  You’ll know it when you find it – if there’s any doubt, you haven’t found it yet.

The drive to fulfill our destiny and express our Truth is so compelling that people have died for it – not because they’re better than you or I, but because they know that to do without Truth is to feel dead inside anyway.

No one’s Truth is identical, because God’s aspects are infinite.  But all Truths come from and are nurtured by Love. Suppressing Truth for false ideals (like rich, strong, tough, successful, beautiful, etc.) leads to much pain and suffering in the world.  If we listen to our own Truth and follow it, we listen to God.  We will be naturally kind and loving.  Evil is not a part of who we are.  It is a function of compromising who we are.

God is Love, not dogma. 

When we get down to brass tacks – in other words, take out all the bs that muddles our comfortable lives – we get back to the only things that are sure no matter what: love, life and death. They’re all common life experiences. We’re all born; we all die; and we can all identify with the yearning and joy associated with love. Isn’t that where compassion starts? With being able to identify with another? With having an awareness of what the “other” is experiencing and then wanting to help. We’ve had so many opportunities lately to see people band together for the common good; Haiti, Katrina, 9/11. People came together despite all their typical prejudices. “We’re all one” is never more clear when catastrophe strikes. But too often we forget what’s important. So how do we remember? How, besides enduring horrific accidents and attacks, do we remember that love and life are so important to us all? This is my question.

When Did We Become A Nation Of Victims?

I’ve been exploring the whole victim concept as well.  Forgiveness, for example, has less to do with the person you want to forgive and more to do with losing the victim mindset.  I say this cautiously, but in some ways, the people who undergo trauma may be more motivated to self empower than those whose setbacks aren’t as hard.  Those of us with lesser traumas generally do ok, and can eek along by complaining and distracting ourselves than actually dealing with our issues. But it’s harder to avoid, big, in your face trauma.  As you point out, to effectively deal with it, you need to act.  That means losing the victim identity, and empowering yourself to live a creative and fulfilling life.

But self-imposed victimization has become a way of life for us.  Just take a look at what advertising and politics appeal to, how many lawsuits there are, if we’re more inclined to take a pill or eat well to lose weight, the mortgage crisis.  We’re told over and over again that it’s not our fault.  And most of us are willing believers.  How much easier is it to complain and distract ourselves than roll up our sleeves and fix things?  And how many advertisers, etc. want to keep it that way?  Whether you’re a marketing guru, or political strategist, isn’t it easier to control a sedentary, helpless nation than an active, self-regulating one?
I wonder, can we “sell” self-empowerment, like victimhood is sold?  Then as a society, maybe we wouldn’t have to undergo major trauma to finally figure out (or remember) what we’re capable of.

But, instead, we spend time and energy on distractions and blame.  Distractions like Facebook, twitter, texting, tv, magazines, alcohol, and drugs.  And blame, as in “it’s not my fault, must be somebody else’s” – like our parents, our ex, our siblings, or even our children.  I often hear the word “entitlement” associated with today’s youth.  Why? Because we’ve become a culture of entitlement and un-accountability.  “I deserve everything I want and am accountable for nothing I do.  If I do something wrong, it’s because somebody else screwed up, and I had no choice.” A victim.  And since, by its nature, a victim is helpless, all a victim can do is throw blame around and drown itself in distraction.  A victim is not empowered to deal with its problems. You don’t have to look very far to see how this happens.  Kids get cure-all drugs for the slightest thing wrong with them.  Oh, you had a bad day?  Here’s an antidepressant, honey.  And if you question it (like I did), “behavioral approaches don’t have the science to back them up, so we just go with drugs.”  By behavioral approach, I mean fostering a positive attitude, seeing if there’s a sleep deficit, looking at diet, etc.  Or perhaps a parent thinks their kid is an A student.  But the teacher feels otherwise.  Well, certainly that teacher did a piss poor job of teaching the child, or recognizing his or her gifts.  Most likely some pressure on said teacher and principle will change things for the little darling.  Of course, parents do sometimes have a point.  But how often do they not?  Teachers aren’t the authority figures they used to be, and their students know it.   Sadly, with all this pampering, kids aren’t even given a chance.  If something happens they don’t like, they’re learning to a)threaten a lawsuit, and/or b) take a pill.  Blame somebody else, and try to forget about it.  Personal responsibility as a skill is becoming lost.

You know why all this is happening?  The good old greenback.  The almighty dollar.  Big pharma has loads of $ behind studies that tout the positive benefits of every single drug available… because they sell every single drug available.  If we’re victims, we’re the perfect audience to market to. We can’t do anything ourselves.  We’ll look outward to find what we need – and pay for it.  We’ll seek things to distract us from dealing with our problems and we’ll seek whatever’s easiest.  Lose 10 lbs in 10 days without moving a muscle or changing your diet!  Have a “healthy”  homestyle meal ready in minutes!  Advertising has moved our culture away from what’s right and to what’s right now.  Its’ all about speed and ease.   If you have to put any effort in, or the results take a while to see, it’s dead in the water from a marketing perspective.  And given that most distractions we participate in are laden with commercials, we’re bombarded with that same message over and over again.  Speed and ease, speed and ease.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.  Oh, and also doctors and scientists are the authority. So as long as we think they give something the thumb’s up, it’s golden.  By the way, did you know that scientists can be bought, or they can skew their results?  Or that data can be taken out of context?  Or studies that illustrate the harmful effects of certain drugs, foods, etc. can be effectively obliterated by powerful lobbying groups?  Like smoking, for example.  Do you think some scientists knew before the rest of the world that inhaling smoke and nicotine is bad for you?  Or, even milk. Oh, wait, you probably still think milk does a body good.  Well, it does a cow’s body good.  “Cow”… obesity… connection?  I’ll save it for a later article.

The deal is this, you’ve got problems?  Someone can make money off you.  The less willing you are to look inward, the more money they can make.  It might be nice for you to believe that how you feel now is not your fault.  But, it’s even nicer for the people selling you stuff.

It might not flow. You might hit roadblocks.  But there are some things that we feel ok about if they go bad, because we knew it was the right thing to do.  And there are others that if things go wrong, we’re kicking ourselves bc we KNEW on some level that it was doomed from the start. Don’t do those things!  No matter what anyone else says!  And yeah, you may need to tell your loved ones that you love yourself and need to do right by you first.  What a gift you’ll be giving them by example.  Pave the way.  Be the excuse that others can start out using to follow their own dreams.  So and so is doing it, I can too.  You don’t have to be a success.  Just have the courage and love to stand by yourself.  And one day we can all leave the excuses and the permission behind and act from the pure wisdom of inner self.

• We’re all perfect, wonderful and right – right now!
• Other people’s lies and our own self-deceit block us from seeing and sharing this.
• Perversion and so-called ‘imperfection’ result from trying to express our uniqueness through external ideas of how we’re ‘supposed’ to be.
• Knowing who we are, finding, understanding and acting on our honest priorities is the best we can ever do.
• No amount of money, fame, prestige, beauty, etc. can replace the satisfaction from living a life true to yourself.

The only answers you need are within.